I've been sleeping with wet hair and blighted dreams and three pillows that smell like dog, it's different now.
I woke up thinking about tiny black spiders and death and I avioded the spot outside my back-door by the gate. The scent of decaying human flesh.
I'm tired and have been watching too much CSI, they found the boy in the basement, I knew everything, the bad horror with an audience screaming Don't go in there! I guess I didn't hear them.

My pen pal in spanish is Ester, she loves the OC and Moulin Rouge but does not live in Igualada. I wondered for a minute about Nicole Kidman, maybe she's seen Shakespeare in Love too. I'll ask her about the hot air balloons. This is better, I think, than hasty letters on Lisa Frank stationary from the Pretend Sister I hated.

Tomorrow is Emerson, we're pretending and my fantasies are stronger now. It's going to be cold, I'll wear my leg warmers and blush indoors, wish for the best. I'll believe in anything once, I hope this works so bad.

He stopped by today smelling like sawdust and exhaustion, leaning up against me and the counter, I thought it was Ironic. He's so beautiful everytime I see him. I hope he knows how much I need this too, it's been a while. I'm all couped up with no one to talk to.


Poor Maisy. I feel terrible even if I didn't use my evil powers, she was a good cat.





ash @ 10:06 PM