I'm living
by the bare minimum day to day thinking of the future? planning ahead with half-truths in mind what do I really want to be living wednesday to wednesday dust to dust when I grow up I'll be confused at my own humanity sarcasm my children won't understand me I don't understnad we're so surreal but we work so well well off well-endowed well-wishing hoping dreaming of tape recorders and daffodils free of physics and calculus and minor constraints like shoelaces and cold plastic seats planes and trains to a new home foriegn land with bitter tongue and republicans, ugh, two journals due one out of date my thoughts are running out of pages and the binding falls loose in the hallway clipping walls and scared of stairwells under the dim cover of lights sweet obscurity passing with second-hand grace avioding eyes but smiling to be polite a whole new world thinking, pausing. stopping to breath breathe and thanks for everything for all the fish for the memories the backseat fumblings the debates the three am phonecalls and dried tears makep stains of pillowcases and shoulders available for weak states of mind I don't mind the pretense the fallout the shortcomings the ever ellusive never conclusive stream of consciousness because deep down I know

ash @ 9:40 PM