if we’re here to gain perspective, I’m not sure we’re learning the right lessons. we’re driven to action by obligation, and petty attempts at martyrdom. the selfish arguments smack of high school alliances, and distrust is the conversations that wake us up at night. our logic falls short. we’re respected for our ability to make things up on the way, but we’ve fallen back to the old habits we lied about giving up. every day is another practice in self denial. we tell ourselves that we’ll do it later, that they’ll change, we’ll find something better, tomorrow we won’t love them as much. our lives are a study of silence, defined by the things we can’t say and the papers we don’t write, the words we practice in our heads until our voice doesn’t shake anymore. he wants to know how I’ve been, and I’m honestly not sure what to say.

ash @ 11:24 AM