every other dream since then has been reassuring, vindicating. I try to be aloof, but fail and become callous, I know, but even in my dreams I'm distanced from you. so,

the other night caught me offguard. completely shattered. all of a sudden, rushing back and headfirst into something I'd pretended to forget.

talking about it, I thought I'd, we'd, established some resolution. an easy write-off? maybe not, but the anecdotes are laughable now, that's something. this is stumbling and incoherent, I know, but I was so sure before, and then that, and now this. I really couldn't put it into words, I still can't. obviously.



this summer? yes. I'm ready for sunshine and green-ness. I haven't smelled salt in the air for months. we're planning picnics and beaches and sundresses. I think we could all use some fresh air.

ash @ 11:31 PM